Pleasure & Naughty or Nice

It's confession time in the grind! This week, Meg and Grady explore guilty pleasures with their unique brand of irreverent humor and reminisce about naughty and nice holiday seasons. Meg once again proves truth is funnier than fiction with stories of Christmas time in Las Vegas, and Grady shares a youthful adventure in decorating other people’s Christmas trees. 

Agata Zachary joins as guest host to discuss the value of authentic living and finding joy without guilt. Late-night snacking, plastic surgery, spicy language, internet comment sections, 80s anthem rock, the state of Santa Claus’s marriage--it’s all on the table to affirm it’s OK to be who you are and like what you like.

Transcript

Meg: Hello, lovelies. Welcome back to another episode of In the Grind with Meg and Grady. 

Agata: Sponsored by The Records Company. 

Meg: I’m Meagan Ryana. And this is-- 

Grady: Grady Marin. 

Meg: And today we're joined with our special co-host, Agata Zachary. Today we're going to be talking about naughty and nice and guilty pleasures. 

Grady: Wow, so I just want to say that since our first podcast came out, we've had some pretty interesting responses, huh? 

Meg: Are you talking about that huge cheese stick that someone sent? 

Grady: Yeah, so he.... 

Meg: What did he say?  

Grady: So, it was this ginormous cheese stick that was probably the size of my arm and he said suck this ****. 

Meg: Why don't I get **** pics? 

Grady: First of all, this podcast is not supposed to be about that. At all. 

Agata: And did he send it because he loves us so much, or because he hates us so much? 

Grady: Either or. We actually got some more fan mail. 

Meg: Yeah, that dog ******** on our podcast. 

Grady: Yeah, he said since we paid to have this podcast **** on his Facebook, he was returning the favor and was going to have the dog **** on us. 

Meg: Oh my God, that's so exciting. We have haters. 

Grady: Yeah, and then we had the other one that called us ************ God sucks **** you ******* **** can't ************ And then-- 

Meg: He put thumbs up. Thumbs up. Thumbsup. 

Grady: Um, yeah, and ******* **** *****. 

Agata: All I want to know is what those people do in their free time. And is giving us attention their guilty pleasures? 

Grady: People are so accustomed to me being stiff and without much emotion, and you know when people hear me using profanity, they're in absolute utter shock to listen to me use foul language, and for some, and some thought that some of the things that I said may be offensive. It was not my intention if I came across that way, but I don't know what the hell am I doing with this podcast. It's just out of my wheelhouse. But the adage goes shake a leg or start anew. 

I'm compassionate, damn it, and whatever I do I try to do it with all of my heart. You know me, both of you. I have a big heart, and you know that I give a damn even when I say that I don't give a damn. And so I just want to say, you know, if I feel like I have to talk a certain way or talk because someone else wants me to say something that I wouldn't normally say, then why am I even doing this? I want to be authentic. I want to be real. That's why we're here, so we're going to talk. 

Meg: What you want to talk about today, Agata? What is your guilty pleasure? 

Agata: You know what? I thought about it for a few days now. You know what, I can’t freaking come up with one. I never feel guilty about things I do. 

Meg: Me neither. 

Agata: Is that bad though? Are you supposed to feel guilty, and who said that we should? If it makes you feel good, why am I supposed to feel guilty? 

Meg: I agree with you. I don't feel guilty for anything. 

Grady: Well, so our topics today are naughty and nice and guilty pleasures, so I have a small confession. 

Meg: What did you do? Oh, wow. 

Grady: Well, when I was a young kid, you know, I've always just been mesmerized by Christmas. I love decorating. I mean you can look at my tree and tell I like to decorate. Yeah, and so I'm always very particular about things, and so there was a neighbor. They were lovely, wonderful people, and I still talk to them to this day. And so they needed some help, particularly with their Christmas tree. 

Agata: And so, did they ask for help? 

Grady: No, and when they went out of town, I decided that I needed to redecorate the tree. And so, I shimmied up to the second story of their house, broke in, and I redecorated the Christmas tree. 

Meg: How did you get to the second story window? 

Grady: I can't remember, but I climbed. 

Agata: So, wait, you basically broke into their house to redo their Christmas tree? 

Grady: Yeah, and I'm petrified of heights, remember? 

Meg: So, Grady, what aren't you telling us? I mean, there's a reason you feel guilty, something that you're not telling us. 

Grady: Well, yes, so authentically I am guilty for that. But so I did redecorate the Christmas tree, and I think it was lovely. I didn't hear any complaints about that. But I did happen to use their phone to call a 900 hotline. 

Meg: What kind of 900? 

Grady: That's neither here nor there. 

Agata: Cheese stick. Cheese stick. He wanted a cheese stick delivered. 

Grady: No.  Anyways,  actually I think I called a female hotline. It was in the 90s. 

Meg: Did you have to pay for the phone bill, or did they find out it was you? 

Grady: I think they paid for it. God bless them. Thank you so much for not putting me in juvenile detention. I don't even know if you could put somebody that was eight years old in juvenile. I think you can. 

Agata: They didn't want to put you in juvenile detention, not for the phone call, but what you did to the Christmas tree wasn't up to their standards. 

Grady: Oh, maybe not, maybe not. So, what about you, Meagan? 

Meg: I don't feel guilty about anything. 

Grady: Why not? 

Meg: Because I think women have just been taught to—and people, in general, have been told that—oh, you should feel bad for this and that. **** that. You should just do what you want. Follow your bliss. I think that you said the same thing, Agata. You say you don't feel guilty.  

Agata: The only thing I would like to say is this the same message you would give to a serial killer, or a serial rapist? 

Grady: Oh my gosh. They have a lot of guilt 

Meg: So, do you guys just want to move on to naughty and nice? 

Grady: No. Guilt can ravage a person. We have to talk more about guilty pleasures. We didn't talk about my guilty pleasures. 

Meg: OK, tell me more about your guilty pleasures, Grady. Do you have any others? 

Agata: What is like, no, seriously like what is, seriously, your guilty pleasure? 

Grady: I love popcorn and ice cream late at night. Unfortunately, that comes with dire consequences. When I step on a scale. I added nearly, I don't know, I was 90 pounds of fat.  

Meg: Hold on. Every time I call you at 8:00 AM, you're on the stair stepper. 

Grady: In the elliptical. Well, this morning I actually was pretty peeved. This guy had moved the sign on the elliptical, and there was literally an entire row of ellipticals that you couldn't use because he and another guy were on them because they'd moved the signs. And so here I am looking around, and I actually went up to the front desk and ******* about that. 

Agata: Of course you did. 

Grady: And then the guy got off of it when he saw me go to the front. I think they were trying to create a lot of space in between them, but as a result of that nobody else could work out. I mean there was more than six feet apart. I mean, literally, we're talking like 10 feet apart from both of them. So, either somebody was like uber precautious about that stuff, or who knows, but I was pretty pissed off. 

Agata: Well, if you’re that worried, I'm assuming due to the situation, then freaking stay at home, and run at home or... people are, like, so selfish sometimes. 

Grady: They can be very selfish. 

Meg: Is this the guy—ok, have you seen the guy that runs in his underwear lately in the gym? 

Grady: Ha, no. 

Meg: I remember one day you were texting me, you're like there is this guy in his underwear... 

Grady: No, he was just showing too much. Oh, that was just way too much. 

Agata: Probably that was the guy who sent us the cheese stick. 

Grady: Geez, this, this cheese stick. You know it's just because I'm hungry. 

Meg: Who makes a cheese stick that big? Like how much cheese does that take? 

Grady: I don’t know maybe it was an Italian thing. Agata, maybe you know. You’ve been to Italy. I haven’t. 

Agata: No, I actually... actually, that was one of the countries in Europe I’ve never been to, so I can’t tell you, but it did look just like a huge Italian cheese stick, yes. 

Grady: Oh, I know guilty pleasures. Botox and fillers.  

Meg: Oh, yeah. 

Grady: but why should we feel guilty about that?  

Meg: I don’t. 

Grady: Everybody needs to fix something that's a little burnt or broken. 

Agata: You know what? I don't know if it's feeling guilty or you might not want to share it with others because you just don't want to listen to their **** talking to you. You know everybody's got their opinion. They are so opinionated.   

Grady: We are. 

Agata: Oh, we definitely are so. 

Meg: When I lived in Vegas, that was like an everyday thing. Everybody got Botox and fillers and talked about it very freely. But I notice here in Ohio. It's kind of like-- 

Agata: Taboo. 

Meg: Yeah, and like hidden. It's weird. 

Grady: I don't necessarily understand why. So, I have a confession. I've had liposuction. I've had a nose job. 

Meg: You have? When? 

Grady: I had a nose job in 2005. 

Meg: What the hell did you do? You look the same. 

Grady: Well, that's because—that's good. That's good plastic surgery.  

Meg: I know 

Grady: You didn't notice. 

Meg: That is good plastic surgery. 

Grady: I think I need a little tinkering with it, but it's good enough for me, and I've had Botox. I've had fillers. 

Agata: I think that's all comes down to it. And when you wake up and look at yourself in the morning in a mirror, right? You’ve got to love it. You’ve got to like it, and forget everybody else. 

Meg: Yeah, as long as it makes you happy then how can it be bad? 

Grady: It gives me confidence. It makes me feel youthful. It makes me feel better about myself. I don't like feeling saggy and old. I'm sorry. I mean some people embrace it, and they should. They should feel great about themselves. I, however, don't feel that way. I enjoy when I get it. 

Agata: Mmm-hmm. No, I agree. I recently heard somebody talking. A woman around my age—which by the way I'm almost 50 now—and you know, they're like, I'm not going to dye my hair. I'm not doing makeup, and I'm thinking like, “Oh my God. Why?” I could never do it. I love it too much. Listen, girl. When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror I’ve got to love Agata. When I love Agata, everybody's going to feel the love, you know? 

Grady: So, we're sitting here and we're talking. And so why is it that men should feel guilty when they use concealer or foundation? Because wasn't it not so long ago—I mean, maybe a couple 100 years ago—that men used makeup? Especially when they went to galas and they went to balls, and even like in everyday life they wore wigs. They had a lot of makeup on their face to change their complexion. Why do we feel guilty? Why should we? I mean sometimes I’ve got dark bags underneath my eyes, and occasionally—not all the time, I don't like to wear makeup—but occasionally I put a little concealer on my eyes. Why should I feel bad about that? 

Meg: You shouldn't. You look awesome. 

Agata: Could it have anything to do with the fact that we live in Ohio? Because, again, in Las Vegas, possibly it's a different story. Maybe they feel different about it in Las Vegas. I can tell you how they feel about it in Poland, like in Ohio so... 

Grady: Poland's very conservative, right?  

Agata: Yes, it is. It is very conservative, so I don't think a lot of guys wear makeup there. 

Meg: I had a friend in Vegas from Poland, and she used to go there just to get her lips done. She said they did a really good job in Poland. 

Agata: And it’s cheap. So-- 

Meg: Yeah, that's what she said. 

Agata: It is way cheaper pricewise, yeah, and they have pretty good surgeons and doctors for plastic surgeries and everything. So, yeah, a lot of people would fly to have it done there and come back here. 

Meg: Oh, there we go. Now we have an excuse to fly to Poland with Agata. Yeah, but. 

Grady: Yeah, but that's why people go to Mexico too, to get dental work done. 

Meg: Oh yeah, they go there to get fake booties. Yeah, all the girls in Vegas. I don't see anything wrong with that. Why does Mexico have such a bad rep anyway? I love it. You know, like, I can go there and get Ibuprofen 800s, and I can get... 

Grady: You can get that here. 

Meg: Well, not like the ones in Mexico. That Latisse is super cheap. Retin-A is super cheap. I love Mexico. Mexico, I love you! 

Grady: I think Mexico loves you too. And Meagan, do you ever think that maybe you shouldn't talk about certain things that you talk about? You might not ever find that special man that you want in your life. 

Meg: What? Wait, if he doesn't love me for me, then I don't know what to tell him. I love myself, so, and I think I'm awesome, so if he doesn't feel the same way, **** him. 

Agata: Simple as that. Simple as that. 

Meg: Are you guys ready to talk about naughty and nice yet?  

Grady: OK, fine. 

Meg: Like, I remember back in the day, my friend, she had this Christmas fun party, which was a little naughty for the Holidays, and she had this, like, whole bag of ******, right? And she ended up leaving her merchandise at her parents' house, and her parents’ dogs drug her ****** all over the house, and her parents came home to chewed up ****** because the dogs thought they were chew toys. 

Grady: Wait a minute. This story sounds eerily familiar. It's you! Not a friend. 

Meg: I know, but you told me that I need to stop telling so many stories, so... 

Grady: Well, about the cheese stick. Everything surrounds a cheese stick. 

Meg: Do you want me to tell you another adultish story? 

Agata: Yes, because I’ve got none. 

Grady: Wait. Meagan used a large vocabulary word. 

Meg: Oh, Grady, I know big words. I just don't always use them—please. And I just want to say, Agata, nice girls always finish last. Isn't that true? 

Agata: I think so, yes. 

Grady: So, tell me more. 

Agata: I’ve got nothing here. I don't even know. 

Meg: Well, I have something. Let me tell you something. I was naughty one year OK.  

Grady: Oh, imagine that! 

Meg: I was a waitress. 

Grady: Agata, Meagan was naughty. 

Meg: You know what? Like I said, nice girls finish last because I was a bad girl one year and... 

Grady: You’re a bad girl every year. 

Meg: You know what? Maybe I like being spanked. 

Grady: God! 

Meg: Anyway, so I was like... 

Grady: This is why we get hate mail, Agata.  

Meg: Not it’s not. They send it to you. I need a **** ***, thank you. Why don't I get things like this? Nobody sends me anything exciting or big or large or stick-like. 

Grady: Merry Christmas! 

Agata: Oh, it's coming now, honey. 

Meg: Thanks, Agata! I know what she's sending me for Christmas. 

Grady: I'm traumatized at how you talk sometimes. 

Meg: I’m sorry. 

Agata: But she does it with such an innocent and cute voice. You know, you can’t just help it but listen. Just wow. You know, here is the thing again. I thought about my naughty stories, and every time I listen to Meagan, I think, “I’ve got nothing. I’ve got nothing.” 

Meg: No, I bet she does. She's probably one of those, has a lot of naughty stories. I can tell. 

Agata: Mmmm... I'm...now? 

Meg: She's repressed these memories, and they're all going to come out one day. When we're... 

Grady: Suppressed. 

Meg: Oh, wait! 

Grady: You just spoke a big word, and then you mispronounced that one. 

Meg: I can only do one a day. 

Agata: Poor Meagan. 

Grady: You don't like lassos, Agata?  

Meg: Oh! This one time, this cowboy 

Grady: Oh, I forgot  

Meg: Never mind. The rodeo was in town. I could tell that story later. 

Grady: Oh, just entertain us. 

Meg: Yee-haw, baby. Lasso away. 

Grady: O. MG. 

Meg: Agata, when I was a waitress, this guy came up to me, and he was like, “Hey I'll give you $100 if you give me your pantyhose.” What would your reaction be if somebody said that to you? 

Agata: I... I would probably give it to him. $100. 

Grady: You would give someone your pantyhose? 

Agata: If they want it—I mean like for $100, and I got them for two or three dollars? 

Grady: What about your panties? 

Agata: That too, but that's a little bit more. A little bit more than $100 for those. 

Grady: OMG 

Meg: I love an honest woman. I agree... 

Grady: They’re going to pull our sponsorship. 

Meg: We used to have like pre-shift meetings at the casino, and they showed us a picture of this guy, and they're like if this guy enters the building, he's going to ask you... 

Grady: He’s 86ed? 

Meg: Yeah, that means he is not allowed in the casino. He’s been kicked out. OK, so like they showed us a picture of him, and they're like if he comes in, girls, make sure that you tell security, so we can get him escorted out because he's going to offer you $100 for your pantyhose. And I remember looking around at all the waitresses thinking the same thing as them, like, where is this guy because I want the $100. 

Grady: People like that? That's gross. 

Meg: Yeah, so he walks up to me. It's not the guy that they showed us. It's a different guy. And he's like, “Hey, can I have your pantyhose?” 

Grady: It’s his assistant. 

Meg: Exactly. And I was like, “Yeah, but how do I give them to you?” 

Agata: Yeah, how did you give it to him? 

Meg: Because there are cameras everywhere, right? He's like, “You put them in a coffee cup.” 

Grady: Oh, very professional. 

Meg: He knew! I was like, good idea. So, I said, “Yeah, I'll be right back.” He gave me $100.  I put them in the coffee cup, handed them back, and he goes, “They're not for me. They’re for my friend.” 

Grady: Oh, it's always the friend story. I'm asking for a friend. 

Meg: Have you ever done that, Grady? Have you ever asked for a friend? 

Grady: No, I have never taken off any of my undies or—I don't wear pantyhose, so I can't just put them in a cup, and I certainly would not be selling them. 

Meg: Would you sell your panties, your boxers, your briefs? 

Grady: No.  

Meg: Why? 

Agata: Why? 

Grady:  They’re stinky. 

Meg: He’s afraid they’ll put them on a DNA— 

Agata: I think that's why they want to buy it, baby. 

Grady: Is this really a thing?  

Meg: Oh yeah, they pay more for the stinky ones. 

Grady: I can't. I cannot. 

Agata: It is gross. It is gross, but it does exist. You'd be surprised. What is that show on TV? They show the addictions or with sex stories. Interventions, ER, no, not Interventions... 

Meg: You think it's the pheromones, Agata? 

 Agata: Pheromones? 

 Meg: Yeah, do you think it's the pheromones that they'd like to smell? 

Agata: You know what? It's just like different fetishes think that people have. Like what is that, the one with feet? People who, like, love feet. I mean that would be, like, absolutely not my thing. It's like a very popular one. 

Grady: I went to a friend's house one time. I'm sorry to cut you off, but you just recalled a memory that I had suppressed. 

Meg: It's repressed. 

Grady: Oh, Lord, love her. And so, then I get there and he's like I’ve got to show you something that I just got for my birthday. And I'm like, oh, wow, got a new car, a new outfit. And he’s like, so come to my bedroom, and I'm like, oh I don't know if I like where this is going. And so, he takes a broom handle, and he moves a tile in the ceiling of his bedroom, and he moves this little thing, and a sling pops down, and I'm like (gasp) what is that? He’s like, oh you want to sit in it? I was like, oh hell no. I'm out. 

Meg: Was that a sex swing? 

Grady: Yeah. I don’t. Yeah. 

Meg: I love those! 

Grady: What is that? 

Meg:  Oh my god they’re so fun. 

Agata: They are. They are, Grady. 

Meg: I knew it. It's coming out. 

Grady: No, what is that? I have no idea. I’m a virgin on that. 

Meg: You walk into someone's house and they have a little decoration hung from a hook. They probably have a sex swing. 

Grady: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. I—first of all, I've never gone into anyone's bedroom, looked for a hook. 

Agata: Jeffrey Daymer had one. 

Grady: Dahmer. 

Agata: Dahmer! 

Meg: Jeffrey Daymer, I like that 

Grady: See that’s why it scares me. 

Agata: I know! Hook in the bedroom, no thank you. 

Grady: Do you just climb in? Are there stirrups or…? 

Meg: Yeah! 

Grady: So, this is definitely naughty.  

Meg: We’re not getting any presents this year.  

Agata: No. 

Grady: Well, I don’t want that present.  

Agata: May get spanking. 

Meg: Didn’t you get to pick out your twig or your switch after you... 

Agata: Redecorated the tree? 

Grady: I did. I suppressed that memory too. 

Meg: How many were there to choose from? 

Grady: A whole oak tree. You came from the same place I did. They're pretty big. 

Meg: People used to use their belts back in the day. 

Grady: I know we used to go up to Hickory Ridge and get us some penny candy. Candy! 

Meg: The Hickory Ridge station.  

Grady: Fred Gill, I know. 

Meg: Yeah, that was a guilty pleasure that we had back then. I know! OK, I just thought of something—I don't really feel guilty, but it is something that I do. I'm a little bit of a klepto when it comes to shower gels and yogurt and toiletries... 

Grady: Should I call a criminal defense attorney? 

Meg: If I pay for a hotel room, I kind of take everything, like the coffee cups, the toilet paper, the Kleenexes… 

Grady: That’s totally legal. They leave that for you to use. 

Meg: I know but like if I don’t use it, I take it anyway. It’s like RV life, I’m a scavenger. What can I say? 

What I was about to say you need tons of finding things for your tiny little house. It’s so cute! 

Meg: And now it's time for a message from our sponsor. 

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Grady: So, we're talking about guilty pleasures, naughty and nice, we're just blending them all together. You know, I recently read a study that people cheat more during the holidays. Why the hell? 

Agata: What? How? That's supposed to be such a family and children... gifting gifts in loving season. 

Grady: I know, and this study said that, I think, 57% cheated with a coworker at an office holiday party. 

Agata: No way. Was there alcohol involved? 

Grady: I mean, come on, every single time. 

Meg: Don’t let your husband and wife out during the holidays. 

Grady: Absolutely. Is that why you don't go to holiday parties  

Meg: Exactly. 

Grady: Or is it the ‘rona? 

Meg: Both. Like, I just don't go to holiday parties because I don't want to drink in front of coworkers. 

Grady: You are not pious, don't even pretend. 

Meg: I don't. It always ends up being some type of crazy story. and I get embarrassed. 

Grady: I think you need to leave when we're done here and go make a confession. 

Meg: I like to dance on elevated surfaces. Let's just say that. 

Agata: There you go, like on the table. 

Grady: On that before. 

Meg: Oh my God, so many times, and got kicked out of so many places. 

Grady: Wait a minute, didn't you have a ho-ho-ho story? 

Meg: I did, about the time I was broke. I went to a strip club, and I paid to not dance. Like, did you know that you could actually pay the strip club to not dance? 

Grady: No. 

Meg: I didn't either. So, I paid because I was nervous, and I walked in with my friend because we needed extra cash that year because they put me on a ****** shift at my real job. 

Grady: What was your real job? 

Meg: I was a waitress, OK, but like I was used to making bank, right? And they put me on this ****** graveyard shift, and I wasn't making bank anymore, so I went to the strip club, and I was like yeah I'll try it, you know.  

Agata: That was, like, your first time to try it out. 

Meg: Yeah, and like when we showed up it was just like a buffet of food, like free food. And the first thing we did was we went over there and ate and ate. We ate tacos, sushi, you name it, it was there. 

Grady: Oh, wow, did you make money? 

Meg: Well, I did, but let me tell you what happened. Like, I actually I had these level one stripper shoes. 

Grady: Wait a minute. There are levels? 

Agata: There are level one? 

Grady: Wait a minute. How many levels are there? 

Meg: Like I'm not a professional stripper, so you would have to ask a professional, but like I saw a meme once that said level one, two, and three of stripper shoes— 

Grady: You’re a professional now. 

Meg: Well, the ones that I had were level one. They were just the shiny clear plastic with the-- 

Grady: Level three has parachutes. Whips and chains. I don't even know what to make of that. 

Meg: Anyway, obviously I didn't know how to walk in them because there was a step in front of me, and I didn't see it. 

Grady: You always fall. 

Meg: I fell in front of everybody, all those men. 

Agata: Oh my God, poor Meagan. You fell in front of everybody in the club. 

Meg: Yep, and this guy came over and felt sorry for me and he's like, “Oh, I'm so sorry. Come over here.” And I just hid in the corner, and I talked to him the whole time. I sat right next to him, and like— 

Grady: Afraid to show her face. 

Meg: Exactly, and it was like a dark corner, and he was telling me his woes and his worries and about his wife and all this stuff, and I was just listening, and I felt like I was being a therapist. And then he said I don't have any money, and I thought oh well, then what's he doing in a strip club so then— 

Grady: Then you lost interest. 

Meg: No, I kept talking to him because I felt sorry for him, and then I gave him my phone number. I thought we were friends. 

Grady: Why are you so naive? 

Meg: And then he put $700.00 in my stripper purse, and I never even had to strip. 

Grady: Stripper purse. 

Agata: Ah, he liked talking to you, but did you mention wife? 

Meg: No, I mean, yeah, we were talking about his wife. But then when I left, he started texting me and he was like, “I thought we had more than this. I thought we were more than friends.” And I'm like— What’s he talking about? 

Grady: Hmmm. Another stalker. You’re used to these, Meagan. 

Agata: Meagan, he wanted cheese stick connection. 

Meg: Oh, that was my ho ho ho story. 

Agata: And that did happen around Christmas, you said. 

Meg: Uh-huh, yeah, I was broke. But you know what? I was like, I made $700.00 in an hour just for talking to someone. 

Grady: Yeah, but then you got stalked. 

Meg: Yeah, just for an hour or so. 

Grady: So, the rodeo, tell us about that. 

Agata: Rodeo? 

Meg: Yeah, the cowboys came in. He left me a song. Let's just say that. That story, or that song when they say a cowboy will just leave you a song that **** is true. 

Grady: I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't listen to that kind of music. Is that country? 

Meg: Yeah, and I'm like I— 

Grady: OK. I love some of the country but I really don't listen to it. 

Meg: I met the hottest cowboy in People magazine for that year.  

Agata: Wow. 

Meg: Yeah, he was like a professional bull rider, was a PBR. It's pretty sexy, but he did have a lasso in his room. We watched movies. 

Grady: Well, that's good. 

Agata: That's a good thing to do. 

Meg: If any guy asks you to come watch movies, it means that they're probably a *******. Just want to let you know. 

Agata: Really? 

Grady: I've never been invited to watch a movie. 

Meg: Well, I don't get **** **** so... 

Grady: I don't want them. 

Agata: Well, you mentioned that already so many times here in this podcast, I'm sure we’re going to get some mail. For you. Special delivery for Meagan. 

Grady: They took time out of their day. They say any publicity is good publicity. However, I might beg to differ. 

Agata: Well, it is what it is. You know what? You aren’t going to make everybody happy. You can't. 

Grady: But why is it people cheat more around the holidays?  

Meg: Yeah. 

Agata: That is good question. That is pretty surprising. I would have to say I mean if it's happening they talking about, you know they're in the company Christmas parties. I would definitely have to say alcohol involved, you know, I think people— 

Grady: They feel passion, excitement. 

Agata: Maybe you develop. I mean, even if you....you know, at work, and you’re not cheating but you have different relationships or feeling towards different people. So put some alcohol in it, and things may happen in, uh, the company restroom. 

Grady: I did read part of that study. They say that if your partner is usually chipper, avoids displays of affection for you, it could be a sign that they're cheating. 

Agata: Or they could be bored with you. I don’t know. 

Grady: Yeah, it does happen, especially when you're in a long-term relationship. That's why I think that you have to do things to kind of spice it up. I've been accused of being too spicy with my language, but that has nothing to do with the relationships. 

Agata: Well, I don't know. I think people who cuss from time to time and use a little bit more vulgar language, those are the people who are a little bit more spontaneous. That's why it's happening, have had it. 

Grady: I read a study once, too, that highly intelligent people—not patting myself on the back, it's not vanity—they tend to be more, if they use profanity, they tend to be slightly more intellectual. 

Agata: Well, let's hope it is true because it does happen to me too. 

Meg: I wonder if Santa Claus’s wife, Mrs. Claus, gets a gift. I was just thinking, I wonder if she's naughty or nice. She’s probably a ***** 

Grady: Well, there is a—a man needs a good woman to keep him in line. 

Meg: I mean, if my man was—like took one night to just deliver— 

Grady: If your man. 

 Meg: Gifts to all the ******* around the world. I'm just saying it was Mrs. Claus, I’d be a little suspicious. 

Grady: What if he comes home a little late? 

Meg: Smelling like cookies and perfume? 

Grady: And soot. 

Meg: Ugh. Yeah. I’d get a little suspicious. 

Agata: Yeah, Meagan, but you’ve got to remember, you got him home every dadgum night of the year until that one night. 

Meg: Oh yeah, I'd probably be having a party. 

Grady: And why is it that Mrs. Clause is always super—at least when I have seen Mrs. Claus—in good shape, and Santa's like 900 pounds? 

Meg: Because she gets surgery. 

Agata: She looks like she's in her 30s— 

Grady: She gets Botox and fillers! 

Agata: So yes, there you go. Guilty pleasures. 

Grady: Yeah, Santa. Ugh. 

Meg: (sings) Santa, baby. 

Grady: Is this part of your dancing on the table days? 

Meg: Oh my God, I loved those days. 

Grady: You still do it? No! You're professional now. 

Agata: Did you get yourself upgraded to level two stripper shoes? 

Meg: I don't have level two stripper shoes, but... 

Agata: Level two probably won't let you fall like level one. 

Meg: Oh, I like that. See? That's why I fell. I only had a level one. Maybe I should try to do that someday. You know, I wonder if the strip clubs are open right now. 

Grady: Or maybe you wore them too much. 

Meg: Can you strip right now during the virus? 

Grady: Ah, yeah, I did see something somewhere where they were wearing masks. 

Meg: Oh. Ok. Sexy. 

Grady: They've got to stay open too. 

Agata: I would assume out of all professions there was always distance pre-Corona as well. I mean you are all the way out there on the stage, not like they normally allowed to, like, much of touching and everything. You just dance. 

Grady: I bet those women are like, “Oh, thank goodness I don't have to get on someone's lap now.” 

Agata: No difference for bartenders. I bet it is that way because--you know how Ohio closes at 10 and no alcohol past 10 in the bars? You know how happy bartenders are that they get to go home after 10:00? 

Meg: Oh, yeah. 

Agata: Because then I was wondering, I'm like, are you not making money? This, you know, stays open longer and they're like, well, no, because a lot of times you get stuck with two or three people who want to hang here, hug the bar till 2:00 AM. Now I get to go home and be with my Santa Claus. 

Grady: Ooh la la. 

Meg: Do you guys have any other naughty or nice stories? 

Grady: No, but I’ve got a feeling you do. 

Agata: Whatcha got, Meagan?  

Meg: You know what? We're already at the end of our podcast today. I'm going to save this for next time. 

Agata: Well, Grady, I don't know about cheating around Christmas time, but I for sure definitely know that in every good family there is no Christmas without some good arguments or fights during the holidays, right? 

Meg: Oh yeah, make-up sex! Woohoo! 

Agata: The naughty uncle said something. Or there was like years and years back in my house, my parents always used to argue, for example, about when is the time to put decorations on the Christmas tree, right? 

Grady: After Thanksgiving. 

Agata: No. 

Grady: OK. 

Agata: We were, like, really close to Christmas, like, it was between three days prior to Christmas or a day off or before Christmas Eve, whatever. Well, one time Daddy got so mad because they were arguing when to decorate the Christmas tree, he just grabbed the entire tree, opened the window, and threw it out of the window into the street. And me and my sister, we were standing there like, "What?"

Grady: Traumatized. 

Meg: Did anybody go pick it up out of the street? 

Agata: Yeah, so I look at my sister. My sister looked at me and we're like, (singing) “Jingle bell, jingle bell.” 

Grady: Your dad’s so sweet though. 

Agata: Well, he is. 

Grady: But she stopped abruptly. 

Meg: He was mad he couldn't go to the work Christmas party. (laughter) That's amazing. 

Grady: Wow, Merry Christmas. You know people feel very low around the holidays. Not trying to, like, express depression, but they do, don't they? 

Agata: Yeah, well, because it is all together. You know what? Until it's all done, and you sit down and relax, I think it's super super stressful, and we’re making it super stressful on us. Money, we want to come up for presents, stressing over presents, cooking, cleaning, family coming. I mean this year a little bit may be different with family coming and stuff, but it's very stressful. 

Meg: It can be. 

Grady: Is it stressful for you, Meagan? 

Meg: No. Because I don't want anything. I don't expect anything. 

Grady: You don't want anything. Not even a cheese stick? 

Meg: I—I do want that. 

Agata: Grady, why don't we make it stressful for Meagan this year? Why don't you prepare for me and Grady a Christmas dinner in your RV home? I want it clean. I want it decorated, and I want it to taste delicious. 

Meg: And this is where I set boundaries. No, Agata. 

Grady: Why not? You can cook. 

Meg: I don't want to. 

Grady: You can even dance on the table. 

Meg: Nope. 

Agata: Grady, give her 15 minutes. She's about to start feeling guilty. 

Grady: Meagan's a box of entertainment. 

Meg: All you have to do is play the stripper national anthem. 

Grady: What? 

Meg: You know. "Pour Some Sugar on Me.” 

(laughter) 

Meg: Anyways, y'all. 

Grady: And don't let anyone steal your Thunder. You know your worth. One foot in front of the other, middle finger up. Keep climbing. Well, on the other hand, keep all your fingers down in case you fall because you will. 

Meg: I love that. Thanks for tuning in today. You're in the grind with Meg and Grady, and thank you, Agata. We love having you as a guest co-host. 

Grady: Love love love you. 

Agata: Thank you and talk to you soon, bye. 

Grady: We would like to give a special thanks to Marshall Creatives, Alex Morgan Imaging, Amanda Smith, The Records Company, their board of directors, Laura Elam and Bethany Forrest and Elizabeth Osman, for putting up with our shenanigans, for not pulling the plug on our sponsorship, and to all the beautiful people who tirelessly work and make this possible. 

Meg and Agata: Thank you, thank you, thank you.